How do you measure a year? What about love?

So I put my playlist on shuffle, and it decided to play Creedence's "Bad Moon on the Rise," and follow it up with "Don't Worry, Be Happy." Felt very appropriate to how I feel right now. It's a good thing tomorrow's Friday (even though I have to do something I don't want to then). I think we could all use it.

I don't like stress. I hate it. I make my life as stress-free as possible. Which is odd, because I'm a high achiever, but it is possible to do both at once. It means knowing when to do homework and when to read fanfic. It means you don't say no to talking to friends very often, and you do some sort of exercise (yoga is my squishee).

And can I say this, to all high schoolers and ex-high schoolers? Drama is not all prevailing, unless you let it be. Of course, enough people in this world thrive on drama that it's hard to escape from. But everything relating to romance does not have to result in drama, unless you turn it into such. If you just say, "Okay," and let it go, it's not drama. Now the trick is to have everyone just say, "Okay," and let it go, but seriously, folks, you can do it. It is possible. Just saying. The more you stomp and moan about drama, the more dramatic is becomes.

I hate drama. Drama leads to stress. Stress leads to anger. Anger leads to the Dark Side. See? Drama turns you into a Sith Lord, and then Yoda becomes a sad crackhead.

Otoh, I love some things. I love my friends. Mostly, I still love my MD friends, but sometimes, my MN friends can really rock too. I like my RA a lot. I love our crazy squirrels. I love Smallville, and I love TWOP, and I love TV in general, and as much as I used to be a Spike whore, I think in the long run Angel may be my true hero, because at the end of the day, Spike is his sidekick. Sidekicks have a love all of their own, but heroes are different.

I love music, and I love myself. I am not perfect, but I do, really and truly, love me. And it's not me being vain, it's a truth that more people should have. You should love yourself. I think it's easier because I know, at the end of each and every day, that I am loved by others. Which is maybe not how it should be, but I love me for me as well. Having others love me is just an awesome bonus that makes it easier.

I know I am loved by many people, but there are three people who own my soul, and I can say that I would honestly die for them, if needed. and I am not afraid to say it. Erika, Jen, and Karen, you girls are my heroes, and I love you to death, I'd say you have no idea how much, but I think it's pretty damn mutual, so you really do.

I will always have a light at the end of my tunnel. I have love.

Love someone!

Mush Brain, or why I love slash

Um, I just have to say that this made my night.

George Clooney and Brad Pitt are apparently buying a gay bar known as the Boom Boom Room and remaking it into a B&B. Dur... my brain is exploded. Seriously. It's like... this is becoming one of those Damon/Affleck things. I don't do RPS. I really don't. But sometimes, it stares you in the face.

And why didn't I know that George Takei was gay long before a few days ago? He didn't just come out, right? He's been out? I don't know.

And I was going through my memories, and remembering that Joss has declared my Spangel love canon is just... makes me so happy. Because JKR will never admit the puppies are madly in love, and Lucas will never say that Qui Gon and Obi Wan are going at it, and frakking Smallville writers will never let Clark and Lex make out (though maybe if Steve DeKnight did something behind the others' backs, and really I think Rosenbaum is trying to sell it sometimes), and Roddenberry's dead and I don't think would support the whole Kirk/Spock thing...

So it's nice to have Aziriphale referred to as "gayer than a treeful of monkeys on laughing gas," and have Crowley "tempting" him (it's really all there, folks), and have Joss admit that we're not crazy, he meant it that way, and his vampires really were sleeping together.

And I've tried, but really I don't think I can do the Mal/River thing. Sorry, folks. I do not do the age divide. I don't do Snape/Harry, and I can't do Mal/River. I believe that their love is an awesome thing, but River is still too childlike, and still too fractured for that sort of thing. And I don't think Mal would take her up on it. I think she's a child to him, not a daughter exactly, but...

Okay. It's very easy to paint River as Serenity. I think all the characters attatch to Serenity at some point, mostly the crew, but for a grander version of things, I think the emphasis is on River as the ship, and Mal as in love with the ship. But it's not a sexual love, of course. He's not jerking off to his ship, for Pete's sake. But he is desperately in love with his ship, and he will protect it at all costs (excepting, of course, his crew). And I believe he has that same love for River. They understand each other on a very intimate level, and he's very protective of her, and she of him, truth be told. If Serenity could speak, she'd tell you that she loves her captain as much as he loves her.

So I feel the Mal/River love. I really, really, do, and he killed me calling her "Little one" (though the flashbacks to Spike/Angel did indeed hurt. I almost wondered if it was a shout out) and albatross. River killed me with how she drew up her feet like it was storytime and said, "I like to hear you say it." Their love is fantastic. But I can't ship it, any more than I can the crazy space incest. I see the love, and it's wonderful, but it's not sexual for me.

I'm just done for the night.