I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Sleep While I Drive, by Jenn. Roadtripping with Clark and Lex, and it's spring, and they make it to the ocean.

Oh man.

I have a job, and I'm looking forward to summer, and having my own space, and getting a car, and working a real job and not having homework for a year, just working 9-5 and then coming home and being done until the next morning, and having weekends to relax, and enjoying my co-workers, and my roommate, and getting a pet.

I feel like the world opened back up for me.

I'm gonna go talk to my adviser on Monday and figure out the details, and see if my dad is going to help me with a car, like he's promised he would for years now, especially since he hasn't helped pay for college at all.

I have a ( summertime playlist that I just keep playing on repeat. )

There are so many things still up in the air - like whether budgeting for a car is going to kill any hope of putting money into savings, and where I'm going to live exactly, and what Tom's going to do, but opportunities just keep opening up, and spring is here, and have an ee cummings poem:

when faces called flowers float out of the ground
and breathing is wishing and wishing is having-
but keeping is downward and doubting and never
-it's april(yes,april;my darling)it's spring!
yes the pretty birds frolic as spry as can fly
yes the little fish gambol as glad as can be
(yes the mountains are dancing together)

when every leaf opens without any sound
and wishing is having and having is giving-
but keeping is doting and nothing and nonsense
-alive;we're alive,dear:it's(kiss me now)spring!
now the pretty birds hover so she and so he
now the little fish quiver so you and so i
(now the mountains are dancing, the mountains)

when more than was lost has been found has been found
and having is giving and giving is living-
but keeping is darkness and winter and cringing
-it's spring(all our night becomes day)o,it's spring!
all the pretty birds dive to the heart of the sky
all the little fish climb through the mind of the sea
(all the mountains are dancing;are dancing)